I always say that I was raised in the church. Church was a part of me since I can remember. No matter what was going on, I knew that I would find my butt right in church on Sundays. I'm talking about not just a Pew Member, but I did some of everything you could imagine in church. I praise danced, sang, acted in plays/skits, cleaned the church and whatever else my Mom signed us up for. Half of the time, I didn't want to do any of it, but I knew not doing it would make my momma give me that CHURCH PINCH and BABY nobody wanted that!
I had seen so much growing up in the church, from the Choir Directors flirting with my under aged sisters to the "Deacons" spreading lies about any and everybody. You know, the stuff that turn so called “saved” people completely away from God. Yeah, I seen, heard and experienced it.
Even as I got older in my teenage years, I would still go to church every Sunday and participate in all the events. I would have sex with my boyfriend and go to Midweek Service right afterwards. I would even invite him to church because he needed JESUS! I was winning him over to Christ by bringing him to church. I had it all mapped out! We would go through our “sin stage” and when we got older we would live a "Godly Life". You know, once we got all of what we wanted out of our system because, we had time to live and get it right later!
See, I knew the Church Lingo. I knew how to pray and how to blend in. I had mastered church going for years! I knew when to lift and when to clap my hands. I mastered this so well that I was even known as the CHURCH GIRL with my friends. I was the "MOST SAVED" out of everyone I hung with, so that made me spiritually strong enough to carry the title as the "CHURCH GIRL". Yeah, the friends that I would drink with and act a COMPLETE FOOL with identified me as the CHURCH GIRL. I would be the first to pray and in the same tongue curse somebody CLEAN OUT. But, that was me, the CHURCH GIRL. I thought I knew God and I knew he understood that once I was done living my life I would live for him…for real. I did this for years and honestly didn't think anything of it.
I would never verbalize this, but this was my heart’s posture. My heart was so full of myself that I only wanted to satisfy myself and my desires. Most people won’t admit this, but we don’t really love God and we don’t really want him as bad as we say we do. We want God for what he can do for us, but not for how he can transform us. Church has taught us to be some straight up liars. We say things like “God I’ll do anything for you” or “God I give you my life” but, we don’t really feel that way and we will not give him anything outside of Sunday Service. Let’s be honest.
I carried my “Church Girl” title as a badge of honor. I was proud that I was better than everyone else because of the knowledge I thought I had about God. Girl Bye! That was the dumbest thing I could have ever thought! The problem was I had the knowledge, but I had NO RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. I had a relationship with Church. I knew church in and out, but I didn’t really know God. If I truly knew God, I would not have felt comfortable living a reckless life and acting like it was ok. Because I knew better, I should’ve known that I was held by a higher standard. I was held accountable for what I knew. Yes, we are called to assemble ourselves for the edifying of one another. However, going to church MEANS NOTHING if it only teaches us formalities and not the nature and characteristics of one who represents God.
There are many women who carry the posture of the “church girl.” I’ll be the first to tell you, that it’s nothing cute about faking the funk on Sundays and living a completely different life Monday through Saturday. We are held at a higher standard when we come into the knowledge of Christ. We are his hands and his feet in the earth. Whatever we do and don’t do matters! What if I told you that one moment of “turning off” who you are in God can cost the people around you their eternity. I know you thought your friends were there to kick it and travel with you but every person that’s in your life is an assignment. Many of us are failing our assignments because we’re only focused on having a good time. We are called to be those who are not ashamed to live out what we believe! Who cares if you lose some friends and/or opportunities. God has a greater reward for those who will represent him well at ALL COST! Don’t let your friends suffer because you’re too full of yourself! Friends are assignments from God.
Take off your Church Girl Badge and put on the true character of Christ. There is freedom that comes with being your true self in God! You can do it!